I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.


Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S. (via poetryinspiredbyyou)
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Posted 1 month ago on Tuesday 12 August 2014 with 66,397 notes .

deaneggsandsam:

IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER

YOU GOTTA GET away from my friends because they’re more attractive looking and cooler than me and you might choose them instead which i completely understand because im ugly

(Source: deaneggsandsam)


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Posted 1 month ago on Wednesday 30 July 2014 with 462,826 notes .
3rd selfie in a row?! Damn, Naiomi. Chill.

3rd selfie in a row?! Damn, Naiomi. Chill.

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Posted 2 months ago on Saturday 28 June 2014 with 2 notes .
B&W selfie because.

B&W selfie because.

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Posted 2 months ago on Friday 27 June 2014 .

(Source: vicforprez)

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Posted 6 months ago on Monday 17 March 2014 with 589,008 notes .
sophmoreslump:

sophmoreslump:

im jesus


judas no

sophmoreslump:

sophmoreslump:

im jesus

judas no

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Posted 6 months ago on Monday 17 March 2014 with 192,772 notes .
consulting-doctor-in-the-impala:

in-love-with-my-bed:

k0ldsweatz:

otherbully1:

bearded-snorlax:

Holy shit

I like how her friend just starts jumping up and down like “YAAAASSSSSS HEATHER YASSSSSS!!!!”

bitches, take notes

i thought for sure she was going to hit the other pole

hooooooooooooooooooooooooow

consulting-doctor-in-the-impala:

in-love-with-my-bed:

k0ldsweatz:

otherbully1:

bearded-snorlax:

Holy shit

I like how her friend just starts jumping up and down like “YAAAASSSSSS HEATHER YASSSSSS!!!!”

bitches, take notes

i thought for sure she was going to hit the other pole

hooooooooooooooooooooooooow

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Posted 6 months ago on Monday 17 March 2014 with 391,034 notes .

1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.

2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.

3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.

4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.

5. Do what you love and the money will follow.

6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.

7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.

8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.

9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.

10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.

11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.

12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.

13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.

14. Try to learn something new every day.

15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.

16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.

17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.

18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.

19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.

20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything.


Life lessons my mother has taught me from the side of her hospital bed (part 2/2 of a series) /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
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Posted 6 months ago on Monday 17 March 2014 with 88,862 notes .

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Posted 6 months ago on Saturday 1 March 2014 with 1,649 notes .
Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reach out to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.

Lauren Hooper (via fawun)

Oh my…

(via vickstahs)

(Source: laurenhooper)

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Posted 6 months ago on Saturday 1 March 2014 with 138,319 notes .
sunlight4:

Goodbye February, Hello March on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/53946302/via/solange_pereira

sunlight4:

Goodbye February, Hello March on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/53946302/via/solange_pereira

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Posted 6 months ago on Saturday 1 March 2014 with 30 notes .
🌸🎎🎏ナヨミ & カイ

🌸🎎🎏ナヨミ & カイ

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Posted 8 months ago on Friday 10 January 2014 .

fawnbabe:

well mannered boys who are into kinky shit behind closed doors

respectful boys who spank you til you’re bruised

calm boys who only lose it when someone else touches you


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Posted 9 months ago on Saturday 7 December 2013 with 304,130 notes .

exhistur:

I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people. 


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Posted 1 year ago on Sunday 15 September 2013 with 1,194,376 notes .
People who hug tight.

Who give you long, tight hugs. Their hugs tell you, you’re not alone. That someone actually cares. They’ll engulf you in their arms to comfort you, to make you feel safe and secure. They use this time to lift you when you’re feeling down. It just gives you a feeling of reassurance.

(Source: )


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Posted 1 year ago on Sunday 15 September 2013 with 10,063 notes .